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The Pendulum
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Meet The 32 Members
The top ten reasons men should join the church choir: ...read more

A Greek priest is driving down to New York to see a show, and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding.

The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath, sees an empty wine bottle on the flo ...read more

Hey! It's MY turn to sit on the front pew!

I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.

Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than go ...read more

There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the service," announced the pastor.

After the close of the service, the Church Board gathered at the back of the auditorium for the a ...read more

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately.
So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed h ...read more

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.

I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" ...read more

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.
He said that whoever ...read more

One Sunday a cowboy went to church.
When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. ...read more

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.

The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battl ...read more

A new Pastor in a small Oklahoma town spent the first four days making personal visits to each of the members, inviting them to come to his first services.

The following Sunday the church ...read more

At the end of the age when all the believers were standing in line waiting to get into heaven, God appeared and said, "I want all the men to form two lines. One line will be for the men who were the t ...read more

A little boy opened the big family Bible.
He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the object and looked at it clos ...read more

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny Midwest town got up early and went to the local church.

Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews. ...read more

Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Se ...read more

At a Wednesday evening church meeting a very wealthy man rose to give his testimony.

"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. ...read more

Reasons churches don't ask clown ministries to return ...read more

One said "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church.
I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. ...read more

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.
They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said: "I built a big house for our mother. ...read more

There was a little old cleaning woman that went to the local church. When the invitation was given at the end of the service, she went forward wanting to become a member.

The pastor listen ...read more

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. ...read more

Two old friends met one day after many years.

One attended college, and now was very successful.

The other had not attended college and never had much ambition. ...read more

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent their religion.

The first boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjami ...read more

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. ...read more

You do know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men, don't you? ...read more

Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued members, Someone Else.

Someone's passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. ...read more

When a woman decided to send the old family Bible to her brother in another state, the postal worker asked her if there was anything breakable in the package. ...read more

A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.
As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a ...read more

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box.
He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had p ...read more

There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying.

Flying made her very, very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her t ...read more

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.
...:: Michelangelo ::..

Sometimes you turn back pages of life and you wonder how you got to where you are right now?   How did all sorts of unexplainable things happen to you but all you can remember is giving in to do them.

Many people have learnt things the hard way; just because one piece does not fit the puzzle does not mean it’s the end of your life. At times you realize that there’s no better place you would rather be than where you are, even if it’s discomforting, because out there, people are going through worse situations!

Great people that have made it in life did not just build Rome in one day; it took years, months, and days to gather up the success they have attained. It’s not the time to regret past experiences but the time to re write your life according to the dreams that you have always had.

Despite the peaks and pits you have gone through, it’s not the end of the road.
For some it’s the beginning of turmoil and to others the start of an easy journey. Some have learnt that to be a better person is to act one! No one is going to notice your desperate situation and do a thing about it but one thing for sure is that you will notice and do something about it.  This life is not a realm of paradise to walk through, but it’s one with challenges that you ought to win over! Believe me you have probably had this talk before, over and over again, but nothing has changed, maybe you think this kind of talk is some mystery but it’s not.

People are going to rubbish all kinds of words to your opinions, ideas even at the times you have put a lot of effort and devoted a chunk of time to develop something great, well! Are you going to rush back to your bed and feel sorry for yourself or hit the club and drown yourself in alcohol?? Definitely this kind of world is not for people like that!! There has always been one perfect example and much as you might not want to hear it or read it, it’s that one person that had his life straight, Jesus Christ!!! 

Do not give up on yourself; keep trying till you get what you want. Otherwise you’re going to hate everything about life, you will blame it on the books, friends, parents, the government, the country yet in actual sense you stopped trying or even hesitated to beat the challenge!  Am just saying all this because we get exhausted of thinking of what to do without getting things started, but reminding yourself of the kind of life you want will surely get your brains working towards a greater calling otherwise your running out of time.


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